Lakruwan Rajapaksha Lakruwan: The Real London

I came to London in 2007 from Sri Lanka – at one of the peak points of the Sri Lankan civil war. I was born and grew up there. I completed a mass communications degree as well as a television production and technology course there, and then I worked for a few production houses in Sri Lanka. My mother, who didn’t have much money, borrowed 10,000 rupees to buy me a Nikon FM10 camera for the course. I finally paid off the interest and the loan for my camera when I came to London. 

Once I came out of Sri Lanka, I realised how big the world is. If someone had internet, that was a privilege – you could find new things out about the world. I supported a political group there, and we were always out on the streets, saying ‘stop the war’. My parents told me in 2007 that it’s time to leave the country, otherwise we’re going to lose you. My wife decided to go for her master's and proposed that we go to London. It was supposed to be for one or two years. Now it’s been almost eighteen years in this country.

When I got to Heathrow Airport I realised I couldn’t speak enough English. Finally after four months I got a job in a BP petrol garage – until then I was distributing leaflets. Then I did nightshifts at the garage, and my English improved, working seven nights to help pay my wife’s fees.

I started to work in Asda supermarket for the day shift – I’d get home around 2.30-3pm, sleep five hours and go back to the night shift. I worked nearly three years continuously like that. I think I’ve worked for every single supermarket now over the last 17 years. Finally I became a store manager in M&S. I was so happy when they appointed me.

Then Covid came, and they shut down the world. My son has asthma, so my job was high risk for him, so I left my job. Then it was lockdown, and my wife asked me why I wasn’t learning anything while I was at home. I only had 8 or 9 old images and I was worried it wasn’t good enough for a photography portfolio, but my wife encouraged me to apply anyway. And London Met gave me the offer. I wanted to invest my time and I’ve always liked to learn. 

The main problem I faced was the academic writing. London Met's expectation was really high, especially with critical contextual studies. I struggled big time. I put in my first assignment, I got 42% (the pass mark is 40%). I got an email asking for a meeting with Course Leader James Cant. I thought they were going to kick me out of the course. But instead, he asked me how I was feeling about it, and said ‘continue the studies, you have a good future’. I printed that email.

Doing the BA Photography course was the most difficult time period in my life – we didn’t have income but I had to complete my degree. I found a job delivering newspapers where I collected them at 2am every night, and finished at 6am to drop my kids to school. When I was delivering newspapers at night, in these Surrey villages, certain places looked very very familiar to me, I don’t know why. My wife gave me the clue – probably your past memories.

I can’t remember many places back home now – it’s fading out after almost 17/18 years. So I started documenting at night – that was my final year project. It was called Bluetail Bee-eaters Dreams.

The bluetail bee-eater is a bird who’s travelling from Mediterranean or Asian countries to Europe, and then they are going back. I had a dream to go back, but I still am here. The birds are coming and going, still I am here. The images from my Bluetail Bee-eaters Dreams project remind me of my Sri Lankan village memories.

London Metropolitan University is like a home to me. Once I started to know my tutors – they are very helpful, they really understood my condition. My final year feedback from James was that ‘you are an inspiration for all other students'. It was really hard but I’m really happy about the achievement and what the outcome was.

I told one of the curators that I’m not going to exhibit at the graduation exhibition. James came and asked me why not. Actually I cried because that’s the moment I couldn’t hold it anymore. At that time my wife was working in Scotland so I had to look after two kids, cooking, preparations, sending to school and everything.

It was a lot of pressure. I was about to drop the course, but James told me that we just needed to find a solution. After that, the entire staff was helping a lot. If you tell them your real situation, they look out for you. That’s why I like London Met.

When I started working here as a content ambassador, I saw the diversity here. Sometimes when I come early to London Met I’m sat near the entrance and I can hear student issues. I heard a Sri Lankan boy talking to his father through Skype and he said, 'the money is finished, I don’t know what to do, I can’t find a job'. It reminded me of my first couple of months in the UK. Once he finished the conversation, I introduced one of my friends who could help him get a job. I see it’s my responsibility to help other people who struggle in London – I don’t like to see someone struggling.

I’m really passionate about photography, I want to be a professional photographer. I want to do film set photography – that’s my main target.

Now, my wife has 'released' me from the family – do whatever you want, she said, because you helped me out to be a doctor. She let me go after my dreams, because she has the confidence to believe that one day I will be in my dreams.

I feel I’m spending less time with my sons now, especially because of my studies and finding jobs. I love them, I like giving them options. My youngest son – I’m always scared because he’s always trying to hold the camera! My eldest son really likes the post-production side. My wish is for my children to be good humans in society and humble – I don’t care about what professions they will be. That’s more than good enough for me.

London Metropolitan University designed the rest of my life – it gave me back my life.