Calling My Deadname Home: a book launch and discussion for Transgender Day of Remembrance

19 November 2024

The evening before the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR), the Gender and Sexual Diversity Research Group organised an event to celebrate Dr Avi Ben-Zeev’s latest book, Calling My Deadname Home: The Trans Bear Diaries.

Dr Sebastian Cordoba (he/him), a Senior Lecturer in Psychology at London Met's School of Social Sciences and Professions, chaired the event. Sebastian started by honouring TDOR, including highlighting statistics about hate crimes against transgender and nonbinary people and how transgender women of colour are disproportionately targeted. The room fell into a hush as all attendees observed 30 seconds of silence to honour the victims of these crimes—those who were murdered for living authentically, for simply being who they are.

The discussion then shifted to discussing the book, Calling My Deadname Home, released on 14 November 2024 by Muswell Press. In this compelling trans memoir, Avi, a trans man and psychology professor, navigates sex and dating in a phallic-centric universe of men who love men. But something is missing. To become the man he aspires to be, he needs to reconnect with Talia, his hyper-feminine straight female past, and invite her back in.

In a dynamic Q&A, Sebastian asked Avi piercing questions, such as: “What does a deadname mean, and why is calling my deadname home the title you chose?” Avi responded that a deadname is a trans or nonbinary person’s assigned name at birth. He further explained that while deadnaming is transphobic and harmful—refusing to use a trans person’s current name and referring to them by their old name is an act of blatant misgendering—Avi’s desire to call Talia home was instead an act of subversion, a recognition of “her” resilience. Avi then read excerpts from the book, and the audience laughed and teared up.

In closing, Zev Lowe (he, him), the Executive Director of Tikkun Olam Foundation, discussed how the current political reality, including the election of Donald Trump, is already affecting trans and nonbinary people worldwide, including in the UK, and predicted future consequences. While speaking with brutal realism and poignancy, Zev concluded with hope: Trans and nonbinary people have always existed and have made great strides that cannot be erased. Queer and trans joy, after all, is a radical form of resistance.

 

 

Three people during a panel discussion

Image: Dr Sebastian Cordoba, Dr Avi Ben-Zeev and Zev Lowe.